Man, Fuck Bipartisanship!

So, I'll have to admit, when I found out Obama had won the election I was pretty happy. I was convinced that he'd lose, for one reason or another, and that we'd end up, once again, ignorantly marching into our past. In fact, I was so relieved when I found out he'd won, that I forgot for a moment that Obama is a fucking "moderate".

Especially in the context of the last eight years, I think that the word "moderate"should be considered a pejorative term which translates, roughly, to "dipshit". I've said it once, and I'll say it again: fuck bipartisanship! Haven't conservatives done enough damage to permanently exclude themselves from the political process? But I guess that's just hopelessly naive in a country where Karl Rove is sitting pretty on Fox news, and actually presuming to give Obama advice, like some kind of concerned grandfatherly senior politician. Or where a conservative caricature like Sarah Palin was actually given a shot at the Whitehouse instead of desperately hidden by the RNC, lest her very existence drive the final nail in the coffin of their credibility. Or where the son of an east-coast millionaire CIA spook can masquerade as a small government Texas populist, disgrace himself terribly, and yet be around long enough to endorse another drunken loutish son of priviledge attempting to pass himself off as a straight talkin' "maverick" war hero from Arizona.

Anyway, that's enough ranting. I don't want to make the pretentious mistake of assuming that other people give a shit about how I feel politically. But one more thing: I've noticed that no matter what gains democrats make, they never seem to be able to shake off this image of them as weak humanist fairies who piss and moan about civil rights and compassion until they need the big strong conservatives to come in, guns blazing, and bail them out. If a democrat wants to succeed, he has to move right, and if he does so, he earns the honor of...comparison to a badass animal?

Come on! "Blue dog" Democrats? What the goddamn fuck, you guys? How come, if some democrat hates abortion or thinks we're being "too soft on the blacks" he becomes a Badass Blue Asskickin'Dirty Dawg Dem! I mean, shit, if I didn't know better, I would think that political discourse in this country is inherently slanted right. But what the fuck do I know?

Anyway, prop 8 passed in California, proving once again that even us latte-sippin' left-coasters can be total monstrous reactionaries just like everyone else. I had a thought today at work. Wouldn't it be funny if snack foods had really unappetizing names? Like if, instead of "goldfish" they were "Sweetass Cheez Flavored Fish Krackerz", and Cheetos were, like, "Cornilicious Artificially Flava'd Cheddar Nukes", or something? Just a thought.

*sigh*